WIP of the Week: 6/11-6/17

July 13, 2010
Uncomfortable by Savannah-Vee

Summary: Got 'Best Angst' mention in 'Slash Backslash' contest! 'The way he looks at me makes me feel...uncomfortable.' Jasper's girlfriend's brother, Edward, keeps staring at him. Why? Who knows. Seems like even Edward is confused...SLASH, AH, very OOC.

One-shot for the Backslash contest, continued into a full length fic. Mentioned for best Slash and Judges Pick.

"The way he looks at me makes me feel...uncomfortable." Jasper, Chapter 1...first line.

That very first line alone describes exactly what the entire fic is about...that very first line draws you in and captivates you, leaving you sucked into a world of confusion, lust, anger, madness, insecurity, experimentation, love...denial.

That very first line sent a chill down my arms.

That very first line made me an instant fan of Savannah's and automatically gave me a new outlook on what 'Slash' stories can be about.

The first chapter introduces you to a young Jasper; high school student...shy, handsome...and meeting his girlfriend, Alice, parents for the first time.

This is also where we meet Edward; he is breath taking, strong, assertive...and making Jasper feel uncomfortable with the way he looks at him.

Jasper learns quickly that maybe he is not as confident in his sexuality as he thought; knowing instantly that it is Edward that he wants.


Edward is his own worst enemy, he is the poster boy for the 'straight male' he drinks beer, plays video games, has the girl on his arm...college student, bad mouth...friends.

Edward offers the looks; giving Jasper a reason to suspect that the feelings are mutual...only confirmed when Jasper and Edward have a late night run in that leaves them both experiencing their first homosexual act.

The way Savannah has written their "first experience" (and not the actual act of sex) is almost innocent and sweet but Edward's confusion radiates and eventually wins. He throws Jasper out of his room.

"I pretended you were Bella..." Edward, Chapter 1

We see a lot of this side of Edward, almost to a point where you scream at your computer screen for Jasper to fuck his shit up and leave...but you don't.

Jasper is the optimist.

Edward is the pessimist.

The author is the realist.

Edward is confused and as a reader I can't help but understand, his entire life is changing at a rapid pace and he is afraid.

"A fucking fag who hates fags..." And "this is some kind of punishment..."

These are Edward’s words but then he has moments where you just want to hold him and tell him everything is ok.

"...this feels right..." And "...I love you."

I have read many Slash fics in my time and never once have I come across one that has a plot and background that is so entirely special and meaningful. As of chapter 7, Jasper and Edward have yet to have sex, but when they do act on their impulses its meaningful and sincere...so entirely bitter sweet.

I can't help but to feel that this is how it must feel for people dealing with coming out and experiencing the confusion of sexuality must feel. She writes in a true and honest way.

For now we are left at another impasse and I look forward in the conclusion of this story.

Edward, Chapter 2 "...mad at myself for feeling this towards another guy...felt like this was all your fault...it was you making me feel...gay."

I'm on Team Edward and Jasper for this one...

Hopefully Jasper's insistence work's in the end and he 'gets the guy'

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