December 11, 2011

We will be closed for pimpin' through the month of December for much needed time for the holidays and organizing!  I want to personally thank everyone who has helped with the blog this past year!  I couldn't do this without all of the wonderful support from staff, guest reviewers and people who get the word out about us! I will still be tweeting updates and will be around, so feel free to contact me if you have any questions!

I hope that everyone has a wonderful holiday season and fantastic end to 2011!  See you in the New Year! XOXO!

One Shot of the Week: 11/28/11

December 03, 2011

Cinnamon Bread and Awkward Head by VampiresHaveLaws

Rating: M
Genre: Humor/Romance
Characters: Edward & Bella

Summary: Entry for the Awkward Contest - Sugar and Spice and all things awkward. Will Edward's embarrassing behaviour blow his chances with the girl of his choice? Or will cinnamon gum lover Isabella Swan know just what to do with him? O/S AH - 2nd Place Winner.

TennesseeLamb's Rec of the Week: 11/28/11

December 02, 2011

Stolen Secrets & Shattered Dreams by FoxxyJ
Review by TennesseeLamb

Rating: M
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Drama
Characters: Edward & Bella

Summary: A NYC barman views his mind reading as an isolating cancer, until he meets a lonely 28yr old trying to escape her sad reality. His life is full of harsh lessons. Hers an uphill battle, so she never complains when a beautiful boy treats her badly. EXB AH

If Tom Cruise had Renee Zellweger at “Hello”, then FoxxyJ had me at “No ripping foil packets!” That’s right, I was pulled into this story on the sole fact that I would not have my (yes, MY) lemon interrupted with a frigging condom PSA. Now, before you write me off or make an even bigger mistake and forgo this story because of your moral obligations to safe sex, you might want to take a peek at this fic and stake your claim as an early reader because it is about to take off like the Space Shuttle.

The premise is a truly unique twist on Edward’s mind-reading capabilities and the barriers he creates to keep people and their thoughts at bay. He is still our favorite tortured soul, but he has a playfulness that carefully masks his pain. FoxxyJ has an imagination like no other, taking the characters we love and turning them into people we want to meet. Most of her story takes place in Edward’s bar named BE Bar. Edward and Jasper are stars in a nightly show at the Manhattan BE Bar, asking their patrons to follow three simple rules:

1. Leave your troubles at the door. (You quickly find out why this is the Golden Rule of Be Bar.)
2. Address the staff by name. (I ask you, when is a name just a name?)
3. Just be. (This is harder than it seems, for us and for Bella.)

The moment Bella steps into BE Bar, she grabs our attention with her mind chatter and stream of consciousness. She is a young lady with a lot on her mind and it is taking its toll on her spirit. However, buried beneath the worry and stress is a simple romantic soul in need. Specifically, Bella is in need of change for the pay phone and an orgasm. Sounds simple enough, right?

"I want you to follow the rules." 

"I can't. They're too hard," she admitted, although it pained her to do so. 

"Ah, finally you're being honest. That's a start. Thank you." He leaned with his arms folded on the bar, bringing him down to her height. She could look him right in the eye. 

"I'll make you a deal then. I'll loan you the quarters. You have to bring them back here tomorrow night after work, but before I do, I want you to think about what you want. What would you like right now to make you feel happy and free? Maybe it's something I can give you—maybe not—but I want you to think about it. Deal?" 

Bella had to agree that this deal was a lot easier than what she had been expecting. At his words, she felt a sense of relief and wanted to try what he had suggested. 

"Deal. I'll bring the quarters back tomorrow night." 

"Good. Close your eyes." His smooth voice and the unusual ambiance of the place made it easy to do. Bella closed her eyes and held onto the brass railing to steady herself. 

"Now, think about the one thing that would make you feel alive and free right now. Anything you desire, if everything were possible." 

At the mention of the word desire, Bella's sexual thoughts reared again. She loved his voice. It was gentle on her ears, and she wondered if he could sing, too. Quieting her mind, she thought about what she wanted right now. 

What would end the day from hell on a good note? 

What do I want? 

Oh God, yes, an orgasm. 

But how… 

Oh, from him. Yes, from this annoying sexy stranger. He can give me one and the quarters. 

But where… 

Somewhere I'd never do it. Where? Just be… Just feel… 

Oh, yes, here…on the bar…in public…with his tongue. 

Trust me. You want to know how Edward sees this image in Bella’s mind and what it forces him to do. FoxxyJ’s Edward doesn’t just read minds, that implies a choice. It is more like he lives in a room of powered up TV’s - some muted and some with the volume up to deafening levels, leaving Edward forced to live with distractions. His trust and vulnerability are tightly guarded under a mask of games and parlor tricks. This story is not just generic fic with witty banter and steamy lemons. It is a story you want to go on forever because it pulls you away from your everyday routine, allowing a few moments of escape while reminding you that love and acceptance is all we really want in this life. Its immediate draw reminds me of a book I picked up a few years ago about a high school girl who falls in love with a vampire.

I suggest you block out several hours and put the Do Not Disturb sign on your door. This story is going to keep you up all night. FoxxyJ keeps your mind engaged with the carefully constructed plot line and your libido humming with the spicy lemonade served up at BE Bar. Currently, Stolen Secrets and Shattered Dreams is 9 chapters, which is just enough to make you sleep deprived for two days, but not nearly enough to satisfy your craving for more. FoxxyJ updates regularly and her author’s notes deserve their own reviews! I have been reading fan fiction for two years and I am uber picky about what I read. Life is too short and time is too precious for recycled story lines or sloppy lemons.  Stolen Secrets and Shattered Dreams is worth letting the laundry pile up on the couch and settling for that B- instead of the A. This is not a story to be put on your “to be read” list. This is a “drop everything and run right now” story that will end up in the Fic Hall of Fame.

There are many Edwards in fic archives and but only a few epic ones - Fifty, Penny, Ned, Dick,...ladies, meet Sugarlips.

LadyTazz7's Rec of the Week: 11/28/11

December 01, 2011

Compulsions by MissKingAtYourService
Review by LadyTazz7

Rating: M
Genre: Romance/Angst
Characters: Carlisle & Bella

Summary: Fate seems to have thrown these two together. Will one explosive night of sex be enough or will destiny bring them closer? Can a relationship develop among the shambles of both of their lives? OOC, AH.

Most people are aware that I’m helplessly in love with Carlisle Cullen. Carlisle/Bella is my favorite pairings to read. And write. When I came across Compulsions, I was instantly lost in the story. MissKingAtYourService takes you on a wild and amazing ride. This is a must read for any Bella/Carlisle lover.

We begin with Bella’s friends taking her out for a night on the town to a Swinger’s Club to make sure she gets laid.

(From chapter 1) 

Staring into the mirror, I cringed as my hair was tugged and teased into a tangled mess. Or as Alice and Rose would argue; sex hair. My eyes had never stood out so much, the black eyeliner framing my chocolate eyes, and black glitter eye shadow finished the look. I was going to look like a call girl. 

"Oh, Bella, you're gonna get so much attention, whoever gets you is one lucky guy," Rose beamed. 

Crap. "What if I get a fat middle-aged psycho?" 

"Um, well, you could just close your eyes and fantasize again. After all, that's what you're good at." 

"Shut up, Alice, this is serious. I can't believe I let you talk me into this." 

"Look, Bella, you'll be fine. This is just about sex, and you don't have to be attractive to be good in bed." 

Shrugging, I turned back to the mirror, "Okay, so what am I gonna wear? I could wear my little black dress." 

While across town Carlisle is getting ready to confront his cheating wife at the very same Swinger club.

(From chapter 1) 

Grabbing the package from the P.I, I pulled the contents out, splaying them over the desk. She had been with five different men that I knew of. I had to go to the club, to confront them, to find her. Looking through them, I found the name of the place; The Sleepy Hollow. How nice. 

Searching on the internet, I found the place she had been visiting. It was described as a place for couples to relax and socialize. Yeah right, my wife was apparently socializing with everyone she could get her claws into. Scribbling down the address, I stood and walked to the window. 

I had thought I was enough for her sexually, but obviously I was not. 

So, we have two lost souls going to a swingers club for completely different reasons.

(From chapter 1)

My breath caught in my throat when I came face to face with the girl standing there. She was stunning, her hair tousled beautifully, her deep brown eyes staring into mine. She looked so innocent. She was wearing a black trench coat that fell just above the knee, and her legs went on for miles, finished off with red stilettos.

Her attire screamed sex. However, her eyes betrayed her. She looked like a frightened deer caught in the headlights. What the hell was she doing here? 

(From chapter 2) 

Staring at the talk, dark, and handsome man in the doorway, I didn't know whether to run away and hide or to introduce myself. What was I supposed to say? 'Hey, my name's Bella and I'm here to fuck anything that moves. Maybe that would be a little too forward. 

"I'm here for the um..." 

A smile spread across his face at the sight of my blushing cheeks. Giving a slight smile back, I stepped inside, my eyes still glued to his bright blue eyes. 

"You could call it a party?" 

I nodded instantly, accepting his polite suggestion. And to think I had been worried about meeting a middle-aged man. I was extremely happy to have met him; age didn't matter when you looked as good as that. The rough-handed Mike shoved me hard with his bony shoulder, scowling at him. His eyes flickered from me to the handsome door man. 

"Oh, this is Mike, he's, um...my friend." 

The man before me nodded sternly toward Mike, "It's nice to see someone with such manners." His voice was soft yet stern. Blushing lightly, I smiled as I saw the anger growing on Mike's face. Nobody had ever stuck up for me like that before, and he didn't even know me. Perhaps chivalry wasn't dead after all. 

Muttering something under his breath, Mike stormed off in the direction of the low music. Glancing around, I didn't know where to put myself. Deciding I should probably go with Mike, I turned to the man, "It was nice meeting you...?" 

"Carlisle. And you?" 

"Bella." I nodded before turning and walking down the hall. 

I love this Bella, she is bolder and more confident than many I read. There are no words to describe how in love I am with this Carlisle, he is just sex on legs.

(From chapter 2) 

Turning, I saw that Carlisle was following me as I made my way to the stairs before stopping and tugging the horrible shoes from my sore feet. He let out another heartwarming laugh as he grabbed my shoes and helped to steady me up the stairs. "I should feel guilty taking an inebriated young woman up to a hotel room." 

Flushing, I tried to concentrate on my feet and keep my mind out of the gutter. If I analyzed it too much, I would end up backing out of it. Checking the key, I looked for our room; number thirteen, unlucky for some, but not for me. Fumbling around with the lock, Carlisle seemed to notice I was having a hard time, so he took the key from me. Opening the door, he allowed me to go in first. 

Before I could lose my nerve, I pulled the belt free and pushed the coat over my shoulders and allowed it to drop to the floor, revealing my outfit for the evening. Turning to meet Carlisle's expression, I let a sultry smile spread across my face. His eyes grew wide as he dropped my shoes and the key to the floor. 

Can a chance meeting a swinger club be more than a one night stand? Read this amazing, sexy story and find out. Compulsions is 10 chapters in and let me tell you, MissKingAtYourService keeps you on toes, and she leaves you wanting more! Tazzy gives this story 2 thumbs up!!

SammieLynnsMom's Rec of the Week: 11/28/11

November 29, 2011

The Procrustean Bed by gemini13me
Review by SammieLynnsMom

Rating: M
Genre: Drama/Romance
Characters: Edward & Bella

Summary: A Procrustean Bed- a standard or set of conditions, determined arbitrarily, to which everyone is forced to conform. But the question is... are there really any rules when it comes to the affairs of the heart?

When I stumbled on The Procrustean Bed the first time, I had to admit I tilted my head to the side just at the title. Not wanting to look up the word to figure out what the heck it meant, I was happy to see a definition given in the summary. From there, my interest was piqued and then I couldn’t put it down.

The story starts off as a mystery; as Bella, a college student who works in a bookstore literally runs into Edward Cullen, a millionaire lawyer, with a steaming cup of coffee at Starbucks. We learn from the beginning that Edward is a widower after losing his wife, Tanya, to cancer. Bella, who lives with her crass best-friend, Angela, is just getting by each day at a time.

When Edward stumbled into the bookstore Bella works in, you’d think sparks would fly like any other romance story, right? No, and it’s also what drug me into this story further, because I had to know how these two worked out. The journey to finding true love and understanding is slow, and involves a meddling little Jessica, Edward’s niece, after he brings her on a trip to the bookstore. From there, Gemini13me takes her readers on a ride that show’s how Edward slowly begins to come to terms with the loss of his wife, as Bella grows into the role of more.

The story is currently a work in progress. After a trip to the Czech Republic, Edward and Bella connect in a way that they know they can no longer deny, but Bella has yet to meet Edward’s family. Unlike most stories; Edward had refused to bend to his family’s will his entire life, and has even hung up on his mother, that everyone will agree is Satan herself.

"I'm ready," I said, trying to sound as confident as I could. "I want to meet your mother." 

Although on the outside I was putting up a brave front, on the inside I was scared shitless. The fear of that terrible woman had irrevocably squeezed its way into my heart and an obsessive prayer was repeating into my mind incessantly. 

God help me. 

We know the next chapter will bring us to the prologue and will be nothing short of a showdown, which has me definitely stalking for an update! So, go read, you won’t regret it!

JasperLuver48's Rec of the Week: 11/28/11

November 28, 2011

His Grandfather's Watch by owenic
Review by JasperLuver48

Rating: M
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Characters: Edward & Jasper

Summary: It was just another day at Cullen Antiquities for Edward, until Jasper walked in with a watch. "It was my grandfathers. I was hoping you could tell me something about it." Rated M. E&J Slash.

His Grandfather’s Watch by Owenic is one of the most beautifully told stories I’ve ever read and has quickly made its way to the top of my favorites list. It’s a short story, told in only six chapters and one outtake, but don’t for one second believe that just because it’s short that Owenic doesn’t have a full and amazing story to tell.

Jasper Whitlock has an old pocket watch that belonged to his grandfather and he’s trying to find out as much information about it as possible. He brings it to Cullen Antiquities where he is led to Edward, an expert in old clocks. He asks Edward to take a look at it and tell him anything he might be able to find out.

Edward finds a photograph in the back casing of the watch and calls Jasper immediately. They determine that one of the men is his grandfather who is in an embrace with a man that is clearly that of a lover. This is when Jasper decides to ask his grandmother about the photograph, but is scared.

You see, Jasper’s grandmother has dementia, a disease that deteriorates the mind and causes you to lose touch with reality at times. Edward offers to help Jasper get the answers he wants because Jasper is alone in his search.

In the following days, Jasper and Edward make a connection with each other and it leads to something special. The more Edward finds out about Jasper, the more he wants to be there for him and comfort him in ways that Jasper obviously needs but has a hard time showing it.

They get some information out of his grandmother and go on a search through old photographs and such to find their answers.

Then there is the outtake. I will warn you ahead of time that you are going to need tissues for this outtake because it’s heartbreaking in parts yet one of the most brilliantly written pieces of writing I’ve ever read. It’s the story of Hale Whitlock, Jasper’s grandfather, and the love of his life, Billy.

I absolutely can’t not express to you in words how much I love this story and how heartwarming it is, yet so sad and full of questions that Jasper needs to have answered in order to really understand who he is.

Now, let’s take a moment to let me fangirl over Owenic because I swear to you she is one of the best fan fic writers I’ve ever encountered and that’s saying something because believe me, I read a lot. It started off when I read a review of one of her other stories, Sixty Five Hours, written by the girls of the Perv Pack’s Smut Shack and I couldn’t pass it up, they made it sound far too amazing but in reality they were being completely truthful. Every story I’ve ever read by this amazing author has grabbed my attention in the first few paragraphs and held it tight until the end.

There’s something so special about her writing style and the way she tells a story. The descriptions, the characters, the overall plot line are all weaved together so intricately that even if you wanted to stop, you probably couldn’t. (But I assure you, you won’t want to!)

I can’t say enough good things about this story. To sum it all up, if you want to read something sweet and to the point about a boy who needed some help understanding some things from his past and in the end finds more than he ever could have hoped for, His Grandfather’s Watch is the story for you.

One Shot of the Week: 11/21/11

November 26, 2011

Forever by kas90

Rating: M
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Angst
Characters: Edward & Bella

Summary: We can't always keep our promises of forever. Written for the Love Lost contest.

Submitted Fic of the Week: 11/21/11

November 24, 2011
Swim Tadpole, Swim
Review by AnonymouslySufferingFromOCD

Rating: M
Genre: Romance/Angst
Characters: Edward & Bella

Summary: AU/AH EPOV Lemons/adult themes. "Grasp your partner's hips. Push deep with your thumbs," the teacher announces... I don't know what came over me but my lips were at her mercy the moment they touched hers. Why am I so mesmerized by this older woman?

Swim Tadpole, Swim, is the type of story that really has it all. It’s catergorized as Romance/Angst, and there is plenty of both throughout the story. However, there is also a fair amount of humor and smut to help balance it all out. The story begins with a twenty-one year old college student, Edward, lusting after a thirty-six year old, divorced, single mother Bella. It isn’t that he can’t get whoever he wants, because let’s face it, we know he can, but Edward, wise beyond his years and lacking the patience for women his own age has his heart set on Bella. He doesn’t know what he is getting himself into when he follows her to her yoga class and signs himself up.

She's looking at me; eyes tracing me up and down and she's acting like she's not interested but I know differently. She kissed me back when I practically assaulted her in the hallway here at the gym last week. I was feeling brave and she said she was having a bad day. I don't know what came over me but my lips were at her mercy the moment they touched hers. Why am I so mesmerized by this older woman? There are plenty of girls at school who are interested in me but they don't seem to hold my attention like she does. I don't follow any other women around like I do with her. She fascinates me. I watch her enter her favorite coffee shop in the morning, I watch her enter her office with her shades on and I envy every client that goes in there and has her hands on them. I don't care if she's sticking needles in them; if she's touching them then they're lucky sons of bitches. 

Bella, an acupuncturist/masso-therapist has some issues. She is still on relatively good terms with her ex-husband, Jacob Black. Of course that is because they still have sex regularly and Jacob, who cheated on Bella has verbally insulted her so much throughout her life that she believes everything he has ever said about her. She has horrible self-esteem issues, giving her a massive fear of commitment because she is convinced that if she doesn’t commit to anyone she can always have the upper hand. Bella doesn’t let her self-esteem issues ruin her though, most people see her as a confidant, sexy, and snarky bitch.

Bella falls hard for our favorite fictional character but she is afraid of her feelings, she tries to push him away and does succeed for a small period of time. Edward really has his work cut out for him in this story. He not only has to convince Bella that it is possible for a twenty-one year old to be irrevocably in love with a thirty-six year old, but he also has to convince her that he can be a worthy step-father to her daughter as well as a father to any other children they may decide to have. He also has to learn to understand her holistic life-style.

As always, Edward is good at everything he puts his mind to, and he takes to being a pseudo stepfather with his usual grace.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Cori's yelling in her bed for Bella and has woken me up out of a very deep sleep. Bella doesn't stir, doesn't move. I roll out from under her, slip into my boxers, my pajama bottoms and a tee shirt. I drag my feet out into the hallway and straight into Cori's room. She's crying and scared. 

"Did you have a bad dream?" I ask as I rub the sleep out of my eyes. I can barely think straight. 

"You left! You left me daddy!" 

"Shhhh, I'm here," I say as I pat her hand. She's completely out of it and thinks I'm Jake.

"I need snuggles." She whimpers. 

Snuggles? Does she mean – 

She clambers out of bed and jumps up into my arms. She wraps herself around me and cries into my neck.

I pat her back and rock her back and forth. 

"It's okay. We're still here." 

"Don't leave!" she whines as she clings even tighter. She's practically choking me. 

As I said earlier, Scarlettplay has done a great job with this story it really has a little bit of everything and I know that you will enjoy it as much as I have. Although I will warn you that it does end rather abruptly. However that is only because it is the first in what looks like will be a three story saga. The second story, Drifting in the Brine, is also complete. The third story only has one chapter posted and I am hoping if you all go out and read and review the first two, we may be able to convince Scarlettplay to write a little faster!

New Fic of the Week: 11/21/11


Rogue by Openhome
Review by Ruibin Rua
Rating: T
Genre: Humor/Drama
Characters: Jasper & Alice

Summary: Rogue is the continuation of Coalescence. It is Alice and especially Jasper's journey through the Twilight Saga. Jasper's past intermingles with his present as he comes to terms with himself and his choices.

Openhome’s story begins very dramatically with a human Jasper being forced to master a man’s horse at the age of just four years’ old. We watch how the young Jasper calls out in terror for his mother while she looks on in anguish, prevented by her husband from coming to their son’s aid.

“He is too small, William. Damn you! You'll kill him by forcing him! You'll kill him! He isn't big enough for what you want him to do.” She wrenched at her arm, trying to reach her son, but her husband held firm. 

“Get control of him, son,” William called to the child as the horse turned and nearly knocked the small boy off. “Calm him down and get control.” 

"Papa!" Jasper shrieked in terror. 

“No, boy, you do this on your own. You are strong enough for this, boy. Don't you fail me!” 

This scene, where Jasper’s father goes on to rail against showing compassion for others, which he perceives as weakness, is very telling to an understanding of the man, and indeed, the vampire, whom Jasper becomes and undoubtedly exacerbates his long struggle with his gift as an empath versus his desires as a predator.

We move from this snapshot of Jasper’s past to the point in time where this narrative begins. It is 1963, Jasper is a vampire and his existence is brightened by the beauty of Alice’s presence in it.

Her peace surrounded me as we sat under the ancient, twisting oak. The mist around us glowed pink with the rising sun. Once again, I wished for a slowing of time so that my endless life could somehow wrap itself around moments like this. 

It is the love of Alice and the Cullens that fortifies Jasper and allows him to endure, but viewing the world through his thoughts, it is impossible not to pity him the daily struggle of being immersed in the emotions of others, while hungering for a food source that brings him nothing but the blackest of pain.

Openhome paints the Cullen family so well and it is refreshing to read such a believable account of their history and to experience it through the eyes of one of the family’s most intriguing members. This story is a continuation of two previous stories she has written concerning the lives of Alice and Jasper (Singularity and Coalescence), neither of which I have read, but this didn’t ruin my enjoyment of what Openhome has written and it has whet my appetite to go back and read the histories she has created for them.

Reading this story is also a first for me, as I have never before read a story where Bella and Edward were not the central characters. I am pleased to admit that I was wrong to think I wouldn’t enjoy such a story!

Openhome has a gift for gentle storytelling and this makes her words very pleasant to read. While her work is rated ‘T’, the absence of graphic violence or overt lemons is not a drawback - in fact, I didn’t notice any real difference! Nor do her romantic descriptions, especially of the deep bond of Alice and Jasper, suffer from lack of illustration

"In all the universe, Alice Whitlock, you will forever be the only one." 

At just five chapters in, this is a perfect time to start reading Rogue and to give Openhome more readers, something she richly deserves.

Banner by JaimeArkin 

Completed Fic of the Week: 11/21/11

November 23, 2011

La Bella Addormentata by Einfach Mich
Review by TheRainGirl

Rating: M
Genre: Mystery
Characters: Edward & Bella

Summary: Bella gets a new job with a strange twist. Edward is a vampire with a very particular fetish. AU, OOC, Dark fun. Halloween Treat.

This was poetry.

Dark, coiling, sensual, and enthralling.

I didn't want to like EFM's Edward and I really didn't know what to make of Bella, yet I kept reading.

I found myself gripping my computer like a vice as I read the words that circled my heart and mind in a haze of beautiful words and terrifying images.

It was so intriguing and encapsulating that I couldn't stop. Mere moments and I was finished. I actually went back and reread.

Einfach Mich has written a stunning and appealing tale with such evocative imagery, it grips you. It holds you tight, but not like a mother’s embrace. Her story of desire and lust, protection and predation coerces you into a grasp of claws and blood, but there is beauty in pain.

A selflessness is embedded in each of her main characters, not a self-loss, but an unselfish desire to be whole, to do the right thing, and to behold the perfect piece you didn’t know you had lost. Her Bella is a strong, smart, emotional girl struggling to protect and stay true to her loyalty.

Her Edward is a beast filled with vices and pain, but an overarching desire to be good, do good, and have good.

They both sacrifice and suffer. They both succeed and survive.

This is a short look into their dark world and their even darker journey. We can follow along as they stumble into the light.

I was thoroughly enticed and delightfully entertained. Truly. Go read- La Bella Addormentata. <3 Tell her Rain sent you.

WIP of the Week: 11/21/11

November 21, 2011

The Walls of Dreaming by Her Mighty Ubergeekness
Reviewed by MandaLyn

Rating: M
Genre: Romance/Suspense
Characters: Edward & Bella

Summary: Several years after Edward leaves her, Bella is an adrenaline junkie that crosses paths with the Cullen family during her University studies. Her world is turned upside down with the new dangers she faces. Who will save her now?

If you demand both an interesting story line and an amazingly well-written fic, The Walls of Dreaming fits the bill better than anything else out there. Her Mighty Ubergeekness takes Bella a few years into the future, leaving off from Edward’s exit in New Moon, and shows us the woman she could have become away from the Cullen family. A design student in college and a major adrenaline junkie, Bella is intelligent, witty, and fun to read. She is dealing with her past in a very realistic and believable fashion that is told in a way that the reader is really pulled into her head and heart.

As wonderful as Bella is written in this tale, it’s really the characterization of Edward that appeals the most to me. Her Mighty Ubergeekness shows us what he really might have been like, having existed since the early 1900’s and being the intelligent and, when it comes to love, clueless soul he might have been. This is not a tale where Edward shows up and Bella throws her arms around him and all is forgiven. Bella and Edward really have to work through their issues and it’s done in a very entertaining and engaging, and most importantly a very believable, way.

The rest of the Cullen family, along with a very interesting Jacob, are also featured in this story. The point-of-view changes in some chapters to include Bella, Esme, and Edward. Just check out the author’s note to see the creative way that Her Mighty Ubergeekness has fashioned to help the reader keep them all straight. I just can’t express how fantastic this fic it! It is an amazingly smart and fun fic. Check it out, you’ll be so glad you did.

Submitted Fic of the Week: 11/7/11

November 11, 2011

1929 by deb24601
Review by AnonymouslySufferingFromOCD

Rating: M
Genre: Suspense/Romance
Characters: Edward & Bella

Summary: In 1918 Edward survives the Spanish Flu only to find his world forever altered. He goes on, playing piano in a speakeasy during Prohibiton, struggling to find meaning in life. Meeting Dream Girl gives him hope. He gives her a new take on "life". Not A/H

This story begins in 1918, where Edward is a teenager dreaming of joining the war effort while his parents are hoping that the war will end before his eighteenth birthday. As Edward’s family is stricken with the deadly Spanish Influenza his father makes a rather quick recovery. Unfortunately his mother Elizabeth isn’t so lucky and we find her begging our favorite Dr. Carlisle Cullen to save and protect her son no matter what measures he needs to take in order for that to happen. Edward Sr. making a full recovery isn’t the only difference from the original Twilight Saga. After his mother passes Edward Jr. is brought home to be nursed back to health by Dr. Cullen, the key word here is health.

Edward Sr. begins to battle some demons without his beloved Elizabeth and Edward has to find his own way in life. The war ends shortly after Edward recovers and he instead decides to pursue his mothers dream for him by attending college in Boston.

Edward majors in music and after graduating, returns to Chicago to work in a speakeasy during prohibition. When we join him again it is 1928 and he is haunted by dreams of his father, Dr. Cullen and a mystery woman whom he has never met.

I still dreamed about losing my father in the fog. Once I was away at school though, I dreamt more and more often about the girl with mahogany hair. Always the same scenario: the thick mist, me following her, realizing I was gaining on her and then reaching out to touch. Sometimes I missed and she would disappear in the fog, leaving me feeling empty, hollow. Sometimes, I caught her. With each dream I was more determined to turn her to me. I needed to see her face. Always, I felt the surprising shock when I grasped her shoulder. Always, I felt the amazing warmth that made me wake feeling more alone. 

It isn’t until Edward meets his dream girl that he really begins to live. Edward was an old fashioned gentleman even in the 1920’s but Bella helps him find a new way. While he never gives up being a gentleman he is willing to make some sacrifices to be with a feisty, independent, free thinking Bella. Bella, who lives with her equally independent Aunt Rose (not to be confused with Rosalie) really turns his world upside down with her independence and he is in complete awe of her.

Edward and Bella begin a romance that can survive anything, as we all know they are destined to be together. He learns to be less old fashioned and more willing to go with the flow, while she learns to be less independent.

Bella was twisting the kaleidoscope in her hands and a little frown was creasing her forehead. Clearly, she still had something on her mind. 

"The problem is I've made and changed decisions so often in the past couple of months. I would never marry, I might marry, I'd travel around the world on my own, I'd stay right here. That's not like me." She screwed up her nose. "I'm not indecisive or," she searched for the right word, "flighty". I chuckled lightly at her expression; that prospect was horrifying to her. 

Bella brought the kaleidoscope up to her eye and gave a little sniff. "See there isn't anything in particular wrong with this picture... I just don't like it. I can feel the life being sucked right out of me just looking at it and I couldn't explain why. But I know I could never live with that picture." 

She gave the copper tube a vigorous shake and looked again. "Well that's very pretty; I could live with this picture." Bella didn't look at me as she told me how much she admired Rose's adventures and thought I felt her wavering, questioning herself again. I'd had almost ten years of dreaming, hoping for Bella, my Dream Girl and I was still overwhelmed with the intensity of the feelings, the changes they had brought to my life. I had some sympathy for what she was going through and her struggle to reconcile her plans with my unexpected presence in her life. But that didn't mean I was going to give up without a fight. I reminded her of Rose's own words about how rare this thing between us was and how lucky we were to have found one another. 

We do have some drama in this story and as the summary states it isn’t all-human. Dr. Cullen checks in on Edward from time to time, and it is a lucky thing he does when Bella gets into some trouble that Edward can’t help her through.

1929 is mostly in Edward’s POV, Bella’s POV comes around after we meet Carlisle again. Deb24601 really does a great job with writing this era. She has done a ton of research and it really shows in the story. Many times you feel like you are there and if you don’t feel like you are, you feel like you want to be. I love when authors really take the time to understand exactly what they are writing about instead of just guessing. This is a great, timeless story and I am sure you will enjoy it as much as I have.

New Fic of the Week: 11/7/11


Five Colors in her Hair by Jennrosee
Review by AbbyCreations


Rating: M 
Genre: Humor/Drama 
Characters: Edward & Bella 

Summary: Conformity has always been the key to success in the sleepy town of Forks, Washington, but when the punky Bella Swan arrives, nerdy Edward Cullen learns it's okay to be a little different. The town of Forks will never be the same! Nerdyward/Punkella 

When I first started reading fanfiction, I was mostly drawn to stories that followed the original story. At first I had no clue that it was ok to write the characters differently. Five Colors in Her Hair by Jennrosee gives us a Bella and Edward that are totally OOC but lovable all the same. Of course there are other characters who are less lovable- such as Alice and Carlisle. Alice is mean and bitchy, ruled by all that is superficial. She is not nice to Edward at all. Carlisle isn't much better, he is lacking parental skills.

Edward is a shy and nerdy kid who gets picked on by Mike "the dick" Newton. Bella is the new girl but she's not the shy, clumsy, socially awkward Bella we're used to seeing. She's feisty and a bit of a punk. She isn't one to take any shit and yet she's sweet to Edward. She takes to him rather quickly and it's interesting to see these two characters engage in what is a bit of a role reversal.

The story is told from Edward's point of view. Here is a little snippet of how he views himself:

Finally, there were my friends, Ben Cheney and Angela Weber, and I – the Outcasts, the bottom of the social food chain. Ben spoke with a lisp and had bad skin, but he was the most talented artist in the school and had won awards for quite a few of his paintings. Angela was a bit rounder than the rest of the girls; she was also kind and extremely intelligent. She and Ben had crushes on each other, but both were too shy to do anything about it, so they just sort of admired each other from a distance. As for me, well, there was nothing really special about me. I was a hardcore gamer, and I had a zombie apocalypse survival plan but no real talents to speak of. I was simply a loser. 

His introduction of himself to Bella does not go well at all either.

"I'm Edward Cullen," I said with a smile, introducing myself to the empty chair next to me. 

Yeah, I was a total loser. 

Poor Nerdward needs a hug and some serious help. In the four chapters that are up we see him conquer his fear of speaking to Bella and a little progress is made. In Edward's corner, however, we have Emmett. As his older brother Emmett is also his protector offering to beat up whoever is giving him a hard time. He seems like a good seed thus far.

It's hard to tell where the story is going to go but I foresee a lot of character development for Edward. I find that the high school depiction is accurate and pleasant to read even when it's not pleasant at all.

I am happy that I was able to read and review this story. I will be following it from now on. Give it a chance and you will too!

Completed Fic of the Week: 11/7/11

November 08, 2011

In the Shallows by Porcia
Review by IcarusToSun

Rating: M
Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort
Characters: Edward & Bella

Summary: Everywhere I look, something reminds me of him. Smells, words, colours, songs. For two years I've cried over him. The best thing that's ever happened to me. The love of my life. He left because we were hurting. Because I was in the shallows. 


In the Shallows by Porcia fell into my lap soon after it was posted on FF. The mysteriously poetic title called to me while fic diving one day and even though I wasn’t familiar with the author, I began reading. The summary hinted at angst, and it delivered just that in oodles. But what In the Shallows offers its readers is so much more. It’s a relatively short story, completed in 12 tiny chapters. Barely an eye full. But what it lacks in length it more than makes up in depth.

With poignant and skilfully chosen words, Porcia tells us the story of the joy of love, the sorrow of love lost, and the serenity of forgiveness. Mostly told through Bella’s point of view, the story opens on a sad note where we meet a 27 year old Bella still reeling from the sudden abandonment of Edward two years prior. The heartbreaking narrative makes it clear that she is far from over him:

The man beside me is wearing his cologne. Suddenly, I am seventeen years old again, my heart beats a bit quicker. After ten years, you'd think I would be used to it. After two years, you'd think I would have reversed the Pavlovian response I have to the smell. To the smell of him. (ch 1) 

The chapters leap back and forth in time as it is revealed how the two met and fell in love as teens. Seeing the encounter through Bella’s eyes, the intense draw she felt for Edward is clear to the reader:

Green eyes. Green, green, green, green, green. He's tall, awkwardly so. His hair is brownish red. Freckles. His freckles match mine. 

I'm convinced this is love at first sight. Green, green, green, green, green. (ch 4) 

As the chapters unfold, we find out a thing or two about the blissfully happy life they once had as well as the gut wrenching tragedy that led to Edward’s departure from Bella’s life. We learn that it was a decision made unilaterally by Edward, and that at the time Bella did not understand it and was more or less an unwilling participant in the dissolution of their marriage:

If I sign these papers... I will have no family. No husband. No sister. No mother. No father. I will lose everything. He knows this. He knows how important they all are to me. But he still wants this. Up to now I haven't fought. I keep the apartment. That's it. There's nothing of his I want. I just want him. But that's apparently not something I can get in a divorce settlement. (ch 5) 

Porcia does a magnificent job in depicting the journey that brings them back to one another again. Given its length, it’s a challenge reviewing the story that will do it justice without giving out too many spoilers. That being said, I wouldn’t be exaggerating one bit if I claimed that it’s one of the best love stories I have ever read. Some say that every story harbors a little part of its author in its folds. That statement is perhaps truer for In the Shallows than most. The concluding lines of the story, and the short AN that follows, touched me deeply and brought tears to my eyes. I couldn’t urge you strongly enough to read this special tale. It definitely deserves more attention.

Banner by JaimeArkin

WIP of the Week: 11/7/11

November 07, 2011

Over the Rainbow by EquiVamp
Review by FictionFreak95

Rating: M
Genre: Romance/Adventure
Characters: Bella

Summary: School's out for the summer and Bella's about to take a journey to the otherside of the rainbow. She knows her Lion, Scarecrow and Tinman in real life, but will her trip over the rainbow be enough to help her find true love? 

“We’re not in Forks, anymore, Cullen.” 

Did you watch The Wizard of Oz when you were growing up? Maybe your kids watch it now? Maybe you don’t have kids but you still watch it like I do? Did you fall in love with the Scarecrow, the Lion and the Tin Man like I did? Did you read what I consider some of the fanfiction version of this story, Wicked, and see its fantastic Broadway show when it came to your town?

If you answered yes to any of the above, you are going to die for this fic.

Equi writes some straight up chill factor words in this crossover with laughs and heart clutches sprinkled in throughout as well. It is chock full of both Twilight moments and Wizardly moments and most of the Twilight cast at least makes an appearance. (P.S. not all necessarily are canon. *waggles eyebrows*)

So, starting out, Bella is in high school with a “strange”, brooding, outcast of an Edward…

"You know," he said suddenly, "If you had any kind of brains, you'd stay away from me." 

"Let's make believe I'm brainless. Will you change your mind and come with us?" 

"No, probably not." 

A strong yet sweet and polite, to the extent that he won’t fight back when getting harassed, Emmett (totally swoon worthy)…

"Emmett, why do you let them harass you?" I asked. "You could take them all." And it was true. 

Emmett McCarty was no light weight, not physically anyway. He was as tall as Jasper, maybe taller, and he definitely had more muscle than any of the jocks in school. He was the only nerd on the planet who built better than Vin Diesel. 

…. "Its not right… to hit. Mom said, never to hit." 

And a seemingly heartless Jasper Hale…

"You are a goddamned tease. You should be my girl. On my arm. In my car." He paused for a breath and added, "In my bed." 

Complete with evil twin sister, Rosalie in tow…

"Try explaining to daddy that you weren't drinking when you are covered in the evidence… Does the chief know where his little girl is tonight?" 

I wonder if you can tell from these passages who will be who once Bella crosses over to Munchkinland!

In the beginning of the story, Bella decides to go to a carnival that just arrived in town with her girlfriends and runs into Madame Mary Alice who eerily tells her of her future… and to get a dog. *ded*

"Hmm… I see true love… and a great journey… three men and one is your destiny." 

"A great journey?" I asked. 

"Yes." 

"Where am I going?" 

"Vacation?" She asked. 

Uh, no. "You mean you don't know?" 

"Do you?" 

Before I could form a response she said, "Hush child." 

Child? She couldn't have been more than a few years older than me, if that. But I didn't argue. 

"Mm-hmm… yes…" she mumbled to herself as she stared at the ball. 

"What?" 

"Do you have a dog?" 

"No." 

"Get one." 

She later reluctantly attends a party, thrown by the evil Hale twins, one night and runs off after an altercation with Jasper, into a storm. That’s where the story really takes off. I can’t give too much away, I don’t want to ruin the introductions or the little twists and turns we get here but I will tell you this… Equi has weaved a delicious mixture of the two stories while adding in just enough original plot to make you sincerely fall in love with these characters even more so than you did in the first place.

Another bonus, Equi has put her very own original spin on the character’s descriptions that will make you think this is a whole new story all together, in some ways.

Thus far, this story is 16 chapters in and yet only has around 50 reviews, guys.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, just because it’s unknown, doesn’t mean it’s not epic.

Go, find equi, read this tale of twisted fates and destinies and leave her some lovin’ when you’re done because this story does not have nearly the amount of reviews that it should have, in my humble opinion that is.

One Shot of the Week: 10/31/11


Tripping the Veil by A Cullen Wannabe

Rating: T
Genre: Supernatural/Horror
Characters: Edward & Bella

Summary: When Bella, Edward, and their friends go on a guided tour of a supposedly haunted Mental Hospital, they all find that they have much more in common than they ever expected.

Ruibin Rua's Rec of the Week: 10/31/11

November 03, 2011

Six Weeks by syrrah
Review by Ruibin Rua

Rating: M
 Characters: Edward & Bella

Summary: I wonder how a story with no summary would go. Is anyone game to read it? Let's see... 

With this review, I realise that I am thwarting Syrrah’s challenge to read a story without a summary, but I really want more people to show their appreciation for this piece of writing, so I hope she will forgive me!

Six Weeks follows a teenage Bella who has graduated from high school and is spending the summer house-sitting with her mother, Renee, in a quiet seaside town. More important than the house, however, is the big, loveable canine, Hal, that Bella and her mom are also called upon to look after. Hal is a very real and important character in this story, as so many events and connections between the characters revolve around his presence.

Syrrah’s Renee has some of the canon characteristics of flightiness and ever-youthfulness, but her character is fleshed out well. Bella herself muses about Renee’s mothering skills, or lack thereof, as she was growing up.

She doesn't live on much herself, and nutritionally, as well as in other categories, failed the Good Mothers diploma. She failed the Good Enough Mothers diploma in most areas, really. Flying colours and a chorus of trumpets attended her award ceremony for the Barely There Mothers Award, but following form, she failed to attend it herself. 

It’s these razor sharp observations that make the character of Bella so likeable and Syrrah’s writing so good. Bella doesn’t ask us to pity her, and Renee in this story isn’t actually a bad person either. In fact, she and Bella bond during their summer break and there are times when she was advising Bella that I found myself wishing I had had someone like her to guide me through the anxious teenage years. Bella is both a typical and atypical teenage girl. She doesn’t talk too much, obsess about her appearance or moon about Edward to the detriment of all else, but her heart is still open and she possesses an innocent wisdom that is lovely to read.

There is a dream-like quality to Syrrah’s writing in this story; sentences are typically sparse and sometimes even a bit vague or disjointed. You have to embrace the idea of feeling the words in order to truly enjoy a story like this. You won’t get long-winded descriptions or paragraphs - interestingly, Edward and Jasper are almost always described as Brown and Blond - and Syrrah allows the reader to fill in the detail of a landscape that she has painted with vivid colours and beautiful sweeping brushstrokes.

What day is it? I don't know. Doesn't matter. They're all sunny, blue skies, blue water. Someone banished clouds. I wake with the diamond light, the seabreeze shifting of the net curtains. 

This is a story about people and the connections they forge with one another, but don’t worry, this is also a Bella/Edward love story, albeit a far from conventional one! I love watching them interact, often in beautifully subtle, understated scenes, but there are also enough achingly lovely descriptions to set your heart racing.

Through the nights I have been imagining him, feeling delicious in my bones and nerves and skin, flushed softly pink as the unself-conscious me put fingertips to his cheeks, heart not so aflutter but steady and strong. Shared, exchanged breath, lip to lip, mouth to mouth, chest to chest, hip to hip. I've had knowledge of desire and I know what it can do; liquid fire, melting limbs, fall into you. Brown, us, soon. 

Curl up in a comfortable chair, or on your bed, with a mug of tea or a glass of wine, and let yourself bathe in this wonderful story. You won’t regret the experience.

Banner by JaimeArkin

Einfach Mich's Rec of the Week: 10/31/11

November 02, 2011

Belonging by forthelongestday
Review by Einfach Mich

Rating: M
Genre: Angst/Horror
Characters: Charlotte/Peter

Summary: A routine walk down an alley in Laredo sets into motion the events that end Charlotte's life, and sends her tumbling into a dark world full of hate and war. 

One of the things I love about fan fiction is how it allows us to fill in the gaps. I don’t mean it like that you pervs! I mean, the gaps in canon. The untold stories of Twilight. There are so many untold stories that could be based before the events of the books. Entire lifetimes that passed before Bella Swan was ever born. In those lifetimes are love stories as equally powerful as the one told in Twilight.

Belonging tells the story of how Charlotte became a vampire and met her mate, Peter. It’s dark, haunting and utterly entrancing. We begin the story at the end of her life, on the shadowy floor of a barn in Laredo. Charlotte awakens to a world painted in shadows, pain and death. Peter is her guide through this terrifyingly violent life, much to his apparent displeasure. Charlotte obligingly hates him in return. However, it is the silent, shadowy figure of Jasper that terrifies her more.

There are so many amazing things I love about this story, I don’t know where to start with listing them. I love that we see this world through the eyes of newborn Charlotte. Her fear, anger and curiosity mirror the conflicted kaleidoscope of emotions I went through while reading. Even though I know the Twilight universe, this part of it was still strange and new, which kept me hooked and fascinated to see what was going to happen next. Sure, I knew how Peter and Charlotte’s story was going to end, but it didn’t stop me from fearing for them and wondering how these two people, who initially have every reason to hate each other, will fall in love.

forthelongestday breathes life into these characters and brought me around to loving them dearly. Peter is an intriguing and enigmatic man. His entrance into the story is memorable and to be honest, damn sexy.
\
"You." The word came out as a growl, and my hand flew to my throat; I wasn't capable of such a sound.  

"Sir," the man corrected, raising his right eyebrow in a perfect arch. His skin had a strange pattern etched into it, every few inches semi-circles shone just a little lighter on his flesh, and had I not known better I would have sworn they were teeth marks. The patterns stirred a memory within me, and in that moment I could just barely see his face in a memory of an alley in Laredo; I could almost feel his hands on my shoulders and teeth against my throat, and I bolted backward from him; my back against the wall. 

  The man laughed darkly, "The danger I present to you has mostly passed." 

The most intriguing aspect of this story is the chance to see pre-canon Jasper from the point of view of a member of Maria’s newborn army. Here we get a very different, much darker version of the fandom’s favorite Texan.

Hate, pain, fear, desolation...  

It all wound around my neck in a tightening noose, and it was no wonder that Jasper's victim didn't fight back; I couldn't even move a finger with all these constricting emotions flowing over me. He was savage, brutal, and when he finished with the one he turned on the two standing closest to him and ripped each of their limbs off before kicking them off to the side, paying no mind to the screams of agony that tore from their mouths. 
 
He pivoted in place slowly, glared into each of our eyes as he blanketed us in acknowledgment, and we all nodded our understanding tentatively. This was not a man to defy, no matter the order. 

In the end this is a story about two people finding each other and finding love under the worst of circumstances. Their careful, compelling dance is fascinating to watch even if you know how it will all end. After all it’s not about the destination, but the journey, right?

If you love AU vampire fic, especially if you love pre-canon and wonder about the world that Jasper lived in before he found the Cullens, Belonging is the fic for you.

TheUnderStudy's Rec of the Week: 10/31/11

November 01, 2011

Real Plastic Trees by Hotmessica
Review by TheUnderStudy

Rating: M
Genre: Romance
Characters: Emmett & Rosalie

Summary: In the pages of every high school yearbook, there is a girl that everyone thinks they know. I'm her, and sometimes, I don't even know myself. But he does. A/H

There are not a lot of Rosalie/Emmett stories in fandom, but this one was a perfect slice of heaven. Co-authors, Mer & Jessica, have placed our blondie and monkey man in high school. This story is a search of Rose’s journey to discover her true self. This is one of the best written Rosalie’s I have seen in a while.

The first chapter is a bit of a revelation for Rose. She is starting to remove her ‘rose’ colored glasses and realizes that maybe she wants something more. She is the it-girl, the senior, the rich girl with the similarly classed besties and a boyfriend that is expected of her. So why is she not happy?

“Scrolling through my contacts list, I scan every name, thinking about whom I could call to talk this through before I do it. Usually all life decisions, major and minor, involve the input of Jess and Lauren, but lately I've felt this inexplicable distance from them. They seem so happy, so content in their relationships, in their skin. They truly seem to enjoy everything we're doing, the way we're living, and if they're not, they've given no indication otherwise. They're always so much more involved than I am, planning the parties, the outings, reveling in their popularity. They seem to thrive on it all. At this point, I'm just along for the ride, and barely.” – Chapter 1 

I love this Rose, even in the first chapter. The ladies have written her with her usual snark and roughness, but we also see the inner workings – the heart of the bitch people think she is. As Rose begins to break out of her old skin, shedding the life that she once thought was for her, she understands that maybe it was all fake and nothing was real. Yet, one night Emmett McCarty changes all that and with a simple extension of his hand, Rose gets a taste of how the over half lives.

The story may not have an Emmett POV, but we see him so clear through Rose. He is strong, yet over-protective. He is charming and flirtatious. His ego could swallow you whole, but his dimpled smile warms your soul. There is no way Rose can resist him. He introduces her to some people she has seen around her high school, but never really given them a chance. However, Edward Cullen, who was once in her social circle, is a familiar face with this new group. She thinks that maybe she can fit among them too.

Bella looks from Edward to Jasper and back again. "Keep it up, you two. Rosalie's never going to hang out with us again." 

I know she's teasing, but really, it's moments like this that make me want to spend more time with them. It's so easy to see the real friendship between them, to feel it, and I bask in the warmth of it. It feels so different with my crew. There's no posturing here; there's a depth, a trueness to all of them and how they interact with each other that I never knew I always craved. 

Alice nudges me with her elbow and I look over at her, returning her soft smile. "You look happy right now," she whispers. 

Coming from anyone else, the statement would sound insane or at the very least completely cheeseball. But Alice is so like that, just telling her truth. And I suppose it's my truth, too. "I am happy right now," I whisper back. 

She smiles wider and squeezes my arm, then turns back to the computer. "Okay, so these are amazing," she says in a louder voice. Jasper and Emmett are rough-housing and shit-talking, but in my periphery I see them pause. Emmett shoves him until they're hovering behind us. Bella and Edward hop up, too, and they all crowd around us and murmur their agreement. Emmett's palm comes to rest at the base of my neck, making me shiver. 

"Hey look, you got my good side every time," he says, leaning down so that his forearms are resting on the back of my chair. His cheek brushes mine; I can feel the stubble growing in, can smell the grass and cool air and spice on his skin, and my heart skips a beat. 

This moment is perfect. I feel like I'm living inside of a picture, like I've captured something that I want to tuck into a picture frame next to my bed so I can forever remember what this is like. 

"That, in and of itself, is a win, Ro," Edward says. – Chapter 10 

This is a great story that I absolutely enjoyed from beginning to end. There is plenty of drama, comedy, cliffhangers, angst, and a sweet lemon that sex doesn’t have to always be written so descriptive. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I loved this story for its creativity, giving life to our canon couples, and giving us a Rose we can learn from.

Honorella's Rec of the Week: 10/31/11


Inappropriate Touching by Jenjiveg
Review by Honorella

 
Rating: M
Genre: Humor/Romance
Characters: Edward & Bella

Summary: While OCD Edward works on his mental health issues, he meets a girl...who has problems of her own...not the least of which is chronic clumsiness. OOC, AH, BxE. Rated M for future lemons and language. 

I don’t know about you, my fellow fic h00r, but these days a story has to have a USP, as well as plenty of UST, in order to grab my attention. Jenjiveg’s Inappropriate Touching is just such a story. It is stuffed with wit, originality and heart, and so many unique and interesting voices and stories.

If you are going to go down the OOC route then why not think big? Here are not one, but two, ginormous dorks. I love a geekward and you cannot get geekier than this one. Edward is seriously afflicted with OCD. His life would be impossible if it were not for the love and support of his brother Emmett and wife Rose who live across the hallway. On a rare mission venturing outside his apartment, he encounters Bella, herself crippled by social anxiety disorder.

Take a deep breath, reader. Jenjiveg can pull this off, and does so with style. Her Latexward, so-named because he can achieve little without donning a pair of latex gloves, is adorable. His condition is a serious one and his backstory heart-breaking, but there is plenty of comedy too and surprisingly little angst. He is innocent and charming and we see his loveliness through his close relationship with his brother and sister-in-law and his shrink, Carlisle. He is desperate to overcome his illness and is struggling every day to make the huge adjustments needed to live a more normal life. Into the mix explodes his almost uncontrollable sexual attraction to Bella, in conflict with his need to remain in control via his compulsive urge to maintain cleanliness and order in his life.

I begin each day by measuring all the food in my pantry.

I used to measure twice in the morning, then measure my breakfast, then all food again after breakfast, twice before lunch, then just lunch, then all of it after, then twice before dinner, dinner, and then three times after dinner. Sometimes I would get up in the night and measure it all again. 

I had weened myself off of all but one measurement a day, and I did not measure my meals (I just estimated). 

The morning after I met Isabella Marie Swan, I forgot to measure my food. 

I was preoccupied. If I didn't already have an unmanageable set of obsessions, I would have thought she was one of them. 

I didn't even remember until I went to bed Wednesday evening. I pulled back the sheet, climbed into bed, recounted my day, and realized I had forgotten to measure my food. 

So, I got up and went to the kitchen to get started. I was upset, because this could cost me two hours of sleep, and I had a session scheduled with Dr. Cullen tomorrow. I always wanted to be especially well rested on those days.

Unbeknown to him, Edward is spotted on the street by Bella, and followed to a party. Despite her own limitations - social interaction is so difficult for her that she avoids all but the most necessary - Bella is a feisty character who takes this story by the scruff of the neck and makes it happen. It’s going to take a particular sort of gal to manage this Edward, and here we have her. She knows what she wants from the start and she gets it despite her own issues and the obstacles Jenjiveg puts in her path. Bella’s inner voice, so at odds with her the face she presents to the world, is a delight:

There's a moment when I first wake up...really before I'm fully awake...when I'm confident and I say the right thing and I don't trip over my own feet. 

I snooze each morning for at least an hour trying to hang on to that moment; desperate in my attempt to right the social ineptitude of yesterday. 

This morning, I was thinking about him, that guy, THE guy, the man, the one. My Mr. Darcy, Bruce Wayne, or Malcolm Reynolds. You know, the one who is everything you want a man to be plus all the things you'd feel a little dirty asking for? 

Yeah, I met that guy...And then...I ran away from him. 

I know what you're thinking: "Oh, honey, he turned out to be Wickham, or The Joker, or Jayne Cobb didn't he?" 

Well the answer is no. Mhn. OK, not exactly...

Their relationship develops through letters in the initial weeks. It’s a charming device and suits this story, and, like the rest of the fic, features a curious mixture of the innocent and the profane. Their feelings grow. Bella is very keen “to do the mating dance to get him into my pants”. I anticipated a long lead-in before any this pair could get together but I needn’t have worried, Bella makes sure it’s not long before Jenjiveg lobs the reader a great big, fat juicy lemon unlike many you’ll have read before.

Edward took off his gloves, which caused temporary feelings of dejection on her part...but when he proceeded to procure a fresh pair from a box he kept in a drawer under the bench in front of the sofa, Bella bit her lip and fidgeted with her hands in her lap, looking longingly at Edward. 

The UST went from poisonous to deadly in a flash. 

Eyes dilated, Edward clapped the lights out in the living room and crawled across the ottoman to cup her face. He wasn't about to kiss her, but he needed to touch her as soon as possible. 

Bella threw her head back, baring her neck and reveled in the feel of latex, which may surprise most people to know is quite slippery if only a little pressure is applied. She sat on her hands to keep from grabbing his hands or his dick, she couldn't choose which. 

As his hands ghosted over her from chin to neck and then achingly slowly to cup her breasts, Bella moaned. This sound created a feeling in Edward that was so strong, it momentarily trumped his OCD. 

Pulling her to the edge of the chair, he leaned in, one hand resting on the outside of her upper thigh, teasingly close to her ass, the other anchored to her breast. He kissed the top of the cupped breast over her shirt, eliciting an even louder response. Then, he moved his hands to the highest buttoned button on her shirt, looking at her intently for permission to proceed. 

She nodded, mouth agape, and he deftly opened her shirt, exposing her bra: black lace, see-through. 

Edward now had a fetish to call his own.

And that’s just the start. I won’t spoil the rest.

The angst is in short supply so far, but there are plenty of obstacles to love’s young dream. In an interesting plot twist, we discover that Bella’s twin sister, Alice is secretly married to Edward’s sister-in-law Rose’s brother Jasper and determined to keep Edward away from Bella. Alice is a monster, overbearing, scheming and horrid, she is everything that Bella is not. Her and Jasper’s (BDSM) relationship is far from conventional, and through it, Jenjiveg has Alice confront her awful behaviour and horrible personality in an interesting and moving way. I must also mention the awesome Emmett and fantastic Rose. Their scenes with Edward are just comedy gold.

Latexward and Droolella (not so keen on that moniker as his Bella is a feisty little thing and it doesn’t do her justice) are on a fascinating journey. The depth and severity of Edward’s condition is not underestimated but Jenjiveg often plays it for laughs and keeps the action fast-moving and lively. There is so much to enjoy and lots more to come. Do give this sweet, funny, affecting story a try.