Say Something Else by vampireisthenewblack
Review by Einfach Mich
Rating: M
Genre: Angst/Romance
Characters: Edward/Alec
Summary: When he suffers the worst kind of heartbreak, Edward returns home, resigning himself to a lifetime of loneliness. But he had not counted on old friendships and old crushes. Edward is torn between old love and new... Slash, AH, OOC. Mature content.
Say Something Else is an intimate portrait of love, loss and the grieving process. Edward has just lost the single most important person in his life, his partner in love and life, Alec. He has returned home to Forks, to regroup and try to cope with the loss of his lover. It's here that he runs into an old friend, Seth Clearwater, and his grieving takes on a strange new dimension.
5:22am
Where was he?
The voice on the other end of the phone was frantic, disjointed. "Jane? Slow down. I just woke up for god's sake."
I finally understood what she was trying to tell me.
My whole world collapsed.
Vampireisthenewblack weaves a story that is both haunting, and seductive. She doesn't downplay Edward's grief or minimize his relationship for the sake of making Seth more desirable. If anything, I often felt Edward's own hesitation about whether he should even contemplate a friendship with Seth so soon after Alec's death. It's a legitimate question, that is given depth of Edward's grief.
I kissed him, swallowing his gasps and moans as I drove him closer and closer toward his release. He began to whimper, his legs tightening around my waist, his body tensing around me, and I pulled back to look into his eyes, wide and fevered, and whispered: "Come for me, baby," and he did, exploding onto our stomachs, clenching around my cock and crying my name. I thrust into him, once, twice more and then I followed, filling him with my passion. "I love you, Alec," I breathed into his ear.
I still reached out when I woke. It was too soon, too recent, and I could smell him, I could feel him lying next to me. But he wasn't there, and the realisation jolted me fully awake. I was hard, because I'd been dreaming about him. I rolled onto my back, ignoring my erection and let the tears come.
In the midst of this turmoil, Seth appears like a harbor for Edward to escape from the pity/sympathy and concern of his family. A friend that doesn't judge him and is genuinely curios about his relationship with Alec. The innate attraction that the two men is a complication, but it is also believable when you see how compatible they are to each other.
I pulled myself away from Seth, my lips burning from the kiss, the taste of him, beer and warmth and comfort, but I felt like my heart was breaking all over again. "Holy fuck," I gasped.
He looked shocked, surprised, and as I watched, he sucked his lower lip into his mouth and scraped his teeth across it. His posture was pure uncertainty, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.
"God, Seth, I'm so sorry." I stumbled up the dunes and sat heavily in the sand, pulling my knees up into my chest and hiding my face. Hot tears spilled from my eyes and soaked into my jeans. There was a knot in my chest that was making it hard to breathe. "Baby, I'm so sorry," I whispered.
So there is the quandary of the story. Now that he's lost the love of his life, how could Edward ever fall in love again?
Vampireisthenewblack explores this in a way that few authors (fan fic or published) are brave enough to even approach. She shows us that you can have more than one love in a lifetime, and that loving isn't about close yourself off, but opening yourself up to possibilities.
He wasn't a replacement or a substitute. He was so different to Alec in every way.
I love the slow, build of this story. How at first the weight of Edward's grief is so heavy, it's almost difficult to read, because it feels so real. At times, I felt myself tear up from his loving memories of Alec. The transition into Edward meeting Seth again, and getting to know him as a man, rather than the young boy he knew in the past is subtle. I liked Seth, but I was cautious, just like Edward. The pacing of the story was so sneaky, that by the time that Edward realizes the strength of his feelings for Seth, I realized it too. Leaving me to struggle in angish and hope at the possibility of them being together, just like Edward did.
It's very rare that I have identified so strongly with a story and a character, but Vampireisthenewblack puts blood and tears into this portrayal of Edward. Making you not only believe his pain, but so that by the end of the story you're praying for him to at least try to love again.
Say Something Else isn't just a story, it's a journey from loss to gain, death to rebirth and love. I challenge you to take that journey, and let it change you, like it changed me.
Banner by JaimeArkin
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