Brand New Fic of the Week: 1/17-1/23

January 19, 2011

Finding Bree Tanner by coldplaywhore
Review by SammieLynnsMom

Rating: M
Genre: Romance/Humor
Characters: Edward/Bella

Summary: A comedy about trying to find your way in life, while trying to 'rescue' your high school sweetheart from hers, only to discover she doesn't want to be helped. Rated M for language and all that good stuff.

Okay, so you've seen more. Now, is this the girl you think you know?" I nodded my head slowly as Emmett's smile grew wide. "Holy shit, how in the hell do you know a porn star? Forget it; I don't know that I want to know the answer to that. My next question is… does she have single friends who want to fuck me?"

"Emmett, I have no fucking idea. I haven't talked to her in four years."

"Oh my god." Emmett's eyes literally bugged out of his head and realized I had said too much.

"This is Bella. Holy shit. Bree Tanner is Bella Swan. No wonder you are still hung up over that girl, she must have been one good fucking lay."

So, what would you do if you found out your high school sweetheart was starring in porn?

That’s the question Edward Cullen is faced with in Finding Bree Tanner by Coldplaywhore.

Edward Cullen and Bella Swan were high school sweethearts during their four years at Forks High School. They were torn apart when family obligations caused Edward to take his full-ride scholarship to the University of Washington, while Bella Swan pursued her college dream at UCLA in California.

It’s now been four years, and Edward Cullen has moved back home to Forks, to work as a CPA in his family’s firm. Despite the time lapse, though, Edward’s feelings have not gone away, and he even spends time searching his facebook friends for clues and information on Bella’s life.

While fumbling with movie rentals, after running into Police Chief Charlie Swan, his ex-girlfriend’s dad, he arrives home to his roommate, Emmett McCarty, with take-out and a movie. While The Clash of the Titans was the intended movie pick, the porn disc inside revealed a whole new truth to the life Edward thought Bella was leading. Though the disc claimed the movie starred ‘Bree Tanner’, Edward is certain the woman having sex is his once former flame, Bella Swan.

What I appreciated the most was the unique story line and hilarity behind it all. Both Edward and Emmett are well written, funny, and likable characters that are easy to read. The story is only updated to chapter three, where Edward and Emmett begin to make plans to fly to California. Their goal is to find Bella, who Edward is convinced would never willingly do porn, and to bring her back home.

Coldplaywhore is known for her swift updates and happy stories, so I now look forward to reading the journey of Edward and Emmett while they search for Edward’s old flame. What will they find when they get to California? And, where will it lead? Only time will tell.

Banner by JaimeArkin


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