Brand New Fic of the Week: 12/13-12/19

December 15, 2010

Blame it on Rio by DoUTrustMe
Reviewed by Obsmama
*This story is no longer available* 

Rating: M
Genre: Romance/Humor
Characters: Edward/Bella

Summary Bella wakes up to find a penis inside her vagina. Imagine her surprise when she finds out to whom it's attached. Rated M for language and lemons. AU.AH.B/E

So, late one evening last week I stumbled upon this story and of course with a summary like that, I immediately dove in! I have read a few things by this author before so I knew to expect, a well written, witty story but what I got was so much more. I fell in love instantly with this Bella, she is quirky and funny and so real to life. Her inner monologue has me in stitches, laughing out loud and snorting. This Edward is sexy and smart and the banter between characters is phenomenal. We meet Bella as she wakes up on her first full day on Isle Esme after a drunken night where she stumbled to bed. As she wakes up, disoriented, she mistakes the warm body next to her naked one for her ex-boyfriend back home, and as penis meets vagina in a drunken, half-asleep haze, two strangers make hot bedfellows! What ensues after is pure comic fun and as our Bella is exposed to one embarrassing situation after another, a strange camaraderie is born between these two. The story is 4 chapters in and I can’t wait to read more. Here is a taste of what to expect on the Isle of Esme.

"Well, this is embarrassing," I commented.

"Not being able to reach your book or what you wrote in it about my cock?"

Fuck! This was the worst day ever. I wanted to rewind back to the part where I was hungover, warm and comfy in bed, and had Edward moving inside me.

I squeezed my eyes shut and didn't answer. He'd read more than just his name and the title of the entry, apparently. He must have read the ending, too. I hoped that was all he had read.

I brushed the bark off my hands and reached down to grab my drink. I took a big gulp, praying he'd laced it with arsenic like the girly-man murderer he was.

"More embarrassing than when I caught you using the dildo?" he teased, but didn't let up. "More embarrassing than when you had sex with me while I was asleep?" He paused, but unfortunately, there was more. "More embarrassing than falling out of a hammock half-naked?"

I downed another large swallow and shook my head as the beverage burned my throat. "Mmm. Pretty much on par with those," I admitted hoarsely, coming to terms with my mortification and facing it head-on. This wasn't anything new to me, unfortunately. "But if I were to position them on a scatter plot of my humiliation, those would be on the lower end."

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