WIP of the Week: 4/9/12

April 09, 2012

Olly Olly Oxen Free by Dandelion Mind
Review by Twilly

Rating: M
Genre: Suspense/Humor
Characters: Edward & Bella

Summary: Until the murders, it was difficult to enjoy anything in this dull town. Now CSI has nothing on my life, and I have my own killer to catch. I just wish I didn't have another mystery to solve. Bella. Just as puzzling, only infinitely more annoying. AH ExB

The combination of being the slowest writer on the planet and that all the focus the ADD meds give me is whittled away by my real life job, means that in mid-March I am still writing the first chapter of that fic I was going to start posting on the first of the year.

On more than one occasion, Dandelion Mind has taken pity on me and agreed to WC with me. Coming to the end of our session, we tease what we’ve been writing. Her tease was a bit of great banter between Edward and Bella cloaked in stealthy suspense. You know how much I love banter!

You don’t? Oh, you must be new. Hi, I’m Twilly; I can’t spell, and I love banter. *curtsy* Nice to meet you.

Although I thought I had checked out her stuff before, I didn’t really recognize what was going on in the tease, so I sucked up my embarrassment and asked.
Twilly: I thought I was reading it, but now...what's it called again? 
Dandelion Mind: Olly Olly Oxen Free 
On the sly, Twilly Googles Dandelion Mind’s FFn account and reads the summary: 

Until the murders, it was difficult to enjoy anything in this dull town. Now CSI has nothing on my life, and I have my own killer to catch. I just wish I didn't have another mystery to solve. Bella. Just as puzzling, only infinitely more annoying. 
AH ExB Twilight - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 30,475 - Reviews: 73 - Updated: 3-22-12 - Published: 12-1-11 - Edward & Bella 

Twilly: Suspense/humor, that's an interesting combination, especially, considering the summary. I must read. 
Dandelion Mind: Lolol, those genre selections are questionable, but still, I'd love you to read. 

So, I gave it a whirl. The prologue felt very much like her tease, so I was still intrigued. Edward and Bella are bickering in the woods, looking for “the body,” leading Edward to complain, "Unfortunately, you'll notice, this happens to be the basis of our entire relationship - me, cleaning up your messes!" and Bella to defend, “Relationship! This isn't a relationship! It's a you-telling-me-what-to-do-ship.” 

 I have to admit, I was a little confused. Because the summary made it sound like Edward and Bella were investigating the murders, but the prologue left me wondering if they were committing and covering up the murders. In truth, I’m still confused, because now I’m back to feeling like they’re investigating them. Or maybe investigating some of them and covering one? I don’t know. That’s part of what’s making me read more.

I definitely wanted to read more. The first chapter backs up in time a bit with a teenage Edward complaining about his parents’ habit of collecting orphans since the disappearance of his twin sister years before. Bella is their newest addition, having been recently discovered back in Forks after running away from foster care that she’s been in since her own parents were brutally murdered. I started questioning myself; this is some heavy stuff, so why am I laughing? What is wrong with me?

As I worked my way through the chapters, these two kids have kind of worked their way into my heart and my brain. I love them, and I want to know more about them.

Bella, as she often is, is characterized as the shy and quiet wallflower. One of the things I love about her, though, is that despite her traumatic past, she’s not a pushover, especially when it comes to Edward. I want to figure out what really happened to her when she was missing just after her parents’ death and why they were targeted in the first place. I need to know why she left her previous foster home and where she goes when she disappears every night. (Actually, as of the last chapter, I know that last one. It actually made me cry. But, I’m not telling you. I know you want to know. Go read it!)

Let me tell you how much I love this Edward. He’s is adorable and I want to steal him and keep him in my pocket. Don’t worry; he won’t be lonely, there are other Edwards in there, a couple of Bellas and an Emmett or two.

This Edward is obsessed with TV crime shows, and has pieced together his own CSI kit that he uses slinking around Forks and LaPush in the dark of night and collecting his own evidence. He obviously has his own issues, having lost his twin and then dealing with his parents’ own methods of coping.

The chapters are laugh out loud funny while not making light of Edward and Bella’s traumatic past or the difficulties and challenges they currently face. Olly Olly Oxen Free is definitely worth the read. Dandelion Mind is a sweetheart, even if she didn’t use the awesome chapter title I suggested for chapter eight ("Untitled, because twilly needs it Now"). She even made the awesome banner for this story.

Oh yeah, and there’s Fruit Loop torture. You don’t want to miss that.


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