The Brat Pack by pkmarita
Review by AydenMorgen
Rating: M
Genre: Romance/Humor
Characters: Edward/Bella
Summary: AH/E&B What do you get when put together Vh1's I love the 80's with Bella and Edward? Find out here! E&B All Canon Pairings and Rated M for lemons!
Several months ago, a dear friend emailed me to ask if I'd be willing to consider beta'ing for her. I'd only just begun reading her story, The Brat Pack, and was already hooked. Naturally, it took all of two point five seconds to agree to her request. I've never looked forward to receiving a chapter in my inbox as I do when pkmarita tells me a new chapter of The Brat Pack is on its way.
The Brat Pack is the often hilarious, not to be imitated story of 80's loving Bella and nerdy, kickboxing Edward. Let me repeat that. Nerdy, kickboxing Edward. These two meet in the most humiliating of circumstances and Edward is instantly captivated. Once Bella's humiliation wears off, she's equally as smitten. And the whirlwind romance begins, complete with oddball friends, awkward dates, and all the hilarity and heartwarming moments that so captivated us in movies like Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club.
These characters aren't your average, run-of-the-mill Twilight replicas. At all. PK's Edward will leave you giggling like a little girl, wiping tears... and then gasping for breath. And Bella isn't far behind. She's original. She's feisty, funny, and just as awkward as her loverboy.
You begin to see why a nerd lover like myself jumped at the chance to beta. But, it's more than that. The Brat Pack is one of the most refreshing and original stories I've read. PK pulls no punches when putting her characters through the wringer. Emmett's first date with Rosalie ends in complete (and hysterically funny) disaster. Girls’ night out ends in a jail cell. Alice's ire over a mistake on Jasper's part ends with chocolate wrappers littered around the floor... and Jasper dodging flying crystal while standing in the street below. Not even Edward and Bella are spared.
"Isabella, I think we need to talk," I nervously tumble out.
Horror.
Absolute horror written on her face.
It suddenly dawns on me how that must have sounded. I have never been good at dating, can't you tell? How can I salvage this? Fuck! I just told her the most classic one night stand line of them all. Work mouth, work!
"Oh no! No baby. No! I'm not going anywhere. You are stuck with me; nothing is going to keep me away. Well, wait, that sounds bad too. I'm not a stalker, I swear. God, that sounds worse! What I mean to say is, I'm in love with you and I know we don't know each other very well but that's okay! I don't have to know everything about you right this second. No! Shit! I don't mean it like it sounds. No, wait, I mean, yes I want to get to know you better, and yes, I'm in love with you! I just think we should take things slow is all. Does any of what I just said make any sense?"
"Oh I get it, you want to talk and now you are in love with me, but you want to take things slow?"
"Exactly!"
This is going smoother than I thought. God, I love you Alice. Victory is mine!
"Get out!"
"Wait, what?"
"Get out!"
I am completely dumbfounded. What did I say?
If it can go wrong, chances are that it will for this motley crew. People interrupt at the most inopportune of times. Favorite stuffed animals are causalities to the love war. Crazy landlady's carry sawed off shotguns and unleash the power of the water hose on clueless exes.
Before he can connect his punch to my man's gut, Edward jumps to the left, completely back in the game, and drop kicks Jake in the nuts. I let the breath I was holding out in a rush and watch as Jake doubles over. My man then grabs him by the shirt, yanking him back up and leans in. He says the one thing that makes me wet instantly. My man becomes John McClane.
"Yippie Ki Yay, Motherfucker!"
The punch my man connects to Jake's face is priceless. Blood gushes and Jake screams at the top of his lungs.
"Ahhhh! My nose! You busted my nose!"
Just then Mrs. Cope makes her appearance and I see the water hose just in time to step back as she sprays the asshole down.
"What the fuck, lady?" he screams at her.
"This is my property, I suggest you leave before I grab my shotgun and blast your ass off of it."
God, I love this woman! I make a mental note to buy her a new gun cleaning kit for Christmas.
Life is awkward, it's funny, and it's so perfect at times, it brings tears to your eyes. And so goes it with The Brat Pack. It will make you laugh. It will make you cry. Edward will make you swoon, and Bella will make you cheer. And at the end of the day, this story will leave you with a big, happy smile plastered across your face. It has it all and will not leave you disappointed.
If you haven't begun it yet, do! You won't regret it!
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