Lessons Extracted by MissWinkles
Rating: M
Genre: Humor/Romance
Characters: Edward/Bella
Summary: Long time platonic friends Edward and Bella look to solve their cash-flow problems by making an adult movie together. The two have always been comfortable with each other, but will they be able to keep it friendly when the cameras roll?
So last week, Lori contacts me and asks if I'm interested in writing a review for the blog. I say, “Sure. What’cha got for me?”
“I have this story that is a Twilight/Zack and Miri Make a Porno crossover.”
After asking her who the hell is Zack and Miri and her telling me that it was a movie, then remembering which movie it was, I sat there going to myself, hmm...you had me at porno. So I told her to give me the link and I would read through it.
All I have to say is...HOLY CRAP! I never laughed so hard in my life! I literally had tears in my eyes at one point because I was laughing so hard. Plus, I kept having to g-chat Lori every once in a while with some of my favorite lines from the story or just funny things in general.
Edward and Bella are best friends and they have been best friends since high school. They started living together and have been struggling here and there for cash. So, after Edward finds out that the landlord is going to kick them out next week if they don't come up with the rent, he also finds out that Bella just got fired from her job, which, she was supposed to pay rent that month. In that same week, they end up with no electricity, no water, and no heat. They are so desperate to figure out a way to get money.
It just so happens that it's Bella and Edward's 10 year class reunion. Edward forces Bella along and she ends up running into a classmate's girlfriend that tells Bella what she does for a living. After talking with the girlfriend, Bella starts to get this crazy idea in her head of how they are going to come up with the money and gets Edward, Emmett, and a few others involved in the plot.
Some of the quotes that got me laughing so hard first of all is this...
“Anita Licker Box.”
And this one...
I took her hand in mine, rubbing the back soothingly. "Bella, remember that time I drove you all the way across town so that we could watch that band because you wanted to screw the lead singer?" She nodded sullenly. "Remember me driving all that way so you could try and fuck THE GAY lead singer of that band?" She nodded again, her bottom lip between her teeth. "Well, I think you owe me, and this is me calling in that favor."
"Oh come on! How was I supposed to know he was gay Edward? And anyway, I seem to remember you got some action out of the road trip."
I laughed at the memory. "Okay, One: They were called Queens of the BoneAge, and everyone knows Jacob Black is gay. Two: The "action" I got was from a cross dresser, and it couldn't really even be described as action, seeing as how she just licked my face and told me I tasted like marshmallow peeps.”
So...if what I've said above hasn't convinced you otherwise to read this story, then here is one more tidbit of info for ya...
JASPER IS PACKIN! (take that ANY way you want).
Go check it out. I guarantee that you will love it.
Banner by JaimeArkin
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