Agent 00hot by maxandmo
Reviewed by Agrutle
Rating: M
Characters: Edward/Bella
Summary: Edward, is a hot F.B.I. Agent who is immediately drawn to Bella, the Parole Officer, who happens to be a magnet for ridiculous situations. Rated M for bad words and lemons. AH/Canon pairings
I started reading this story after meeting the author on Twitter. I kept reading it because it was hilarious and fast paced. We find Bella going through the day to day life of a parole officer when she meets Edward at a local bar. There is an instant connection between the two and Edward finds himself trying to come up with reasons to interact with her. Edward isn’t available, but meeting Bella makes him want to be. Hijinxs ensue as we watch Bella find herself in sticky situations.
When I got home I popped open a can of Chef Boyardee Raviolis and plopped down on the couch. It was six o'clock so all that was on TV was the Mariners getting their asses kicked, and the news. Neither option was appealing, but I thought the news may be less of a disaster. Fuck was I wrong. I was fork deep into my gourmet dinner, when the heading on the screen almost made me choke:
-TOTAL OVERKILL- STATE PAROLE OFFICER SHOOTS DOG 13 TIMES BUT THE OFFENDER GOT AWAY.-
The author, having been a parole officer herself, brings a sense of realism to the story. You can’t help but wonder if some of the things that Bella is going through can really happen in real life. Maxandmo is really talented at making it believable and hilarious at the same time! You can tell that she spent a great deal of time making sure that we have excitement in the plot as we watch the usual cast of characters help Bella and Edward try to solve a string bank robberies. One of the things that I enjoy the most about the story is the way we see Bella interact with parolees and what can almost always go wrong.
"Come on Bree, it's time to pee," Sam barked out with authority.
I couldn't help myself and snorted while trying to hold in my laughter. He looked at me like I was nuts, but did he really not realize what he said?
Bree and I walked into the bathroom, and I leaned against the wall acting like I wasn't paying any attention to her. She was stalling, and I knew she was up to no good. I took out my phone and acted like I was texting.
I saw her take a canister out of her pocket and open the lid. She was about to pour the liquid into the container when I told her to drop it. She dropped it alright, all over the floor. Whatever the hell was in the canister splashed up and sprayed all over my pants, soaking them.
"Fuck," I spat. "Put your goddamn hands against the wall."
She complied, and I placed her under arrest. "Sam, get your ass in here."
Sam walked in and gaped at the wetness that was my pants. "Bella, you're in the bathroom. Why didn't you say you had to go?"
"Ha ha ha," I laughed dryly.
I would have rather pissed my pants, than to have someone else's piss on them. The sucky part was now I had to go to the jail like that. Lovely.
Agent 00hot has the best comedic characterization of Esme and Carlisle that you have to read it to see it. We are already thirty-two chapters in and there is more funny to come and I am sure Maxandmo will not disappoint! You have to check out this amazingly funny fic.
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