Sex Shops & Lollipops by il-bel-mondo
Review by Obsmama
Rating: M
Genre: Humor/Romance
Characters: Edward/Bella
Summary: Bella's a determined professional, her career takes priority in her life. With no time to date she decides to get herself a B.O.B. When it leaves her less than'satisfied' she returns to the store & meets a sexy manager who offers to show her the bunny way
When I stumbled upon this story, I thought to myself ‘how could I not read it with a title like Sex Shops and Lollipops?’ Come on! I went in blind, had no idea of the storyline or what other’s feeling were on the story and what I found was so much more than just a tale of a sexually frustrated woman and her bunny. I found humor and snark; I found a talented storyteller and an Edward to die over. I found UST that left me breathless, and more than that I found a character I could relate to on so many levels in this Bella. We begin this journey meeting a sexually frustrated and tired Bella, who is a medical intern. She is working long sporadic hours and is in need of a “friend”. So, on a whim she decides to head to West Hollywood and pick up her own B.O.B.
"Is there something I can help you find?" A southern voice as smooth as a good whiskey drawled from beside me. I turned, and he grinned widely at me. "I'll take it from the lack of speech and the wide doe eyes that you're a virgin." When I coughed and started sputtering and choking on nothing he added, "I mean in the shop...a virgin here to the store...a first-timer." The wicked glint in his ocean blue eyes told me he knew exactly what he'd said.
"I'm too busy with work to date." Yes, this was the only solid, complete sentence my brain could form, and I had word vommed it all over his pretty boy toes, peeking out from the straps of some Birkenstocks. But even with my embarrassment, the damned evil cowboy dressed like a hippie, winked, nodded, and with his hand still at my elbow walked down the center aisle.
"You look like you could handle yourself in the right situation...and by that I don't mean handle yourself. You're no wimp, prissy girl...I can sense the tough in you, but I still think you're a pinky." All the wrong sexual innuendos I'd heard at work and throughout my life exploded in my frontal lobe, and once again I was stammering at the blue-eyed devil. "This is one of the most popular with your type. And by type, I mean strong, virginal, hard working, pinky persona."
With a final wink, he slapped a rectangular black box in my palm before pointing toward the register. The slinky blonde working the till nodded at him and waved me over. Who knew? It looked like he got commission on my potential orgasm inducer. I started giggling at the momentary thought of percentage per production. Multiple orgasms would equal a higher commission rate.
The woman at the counter rang up the black box-that I hadn't even bothered to check over-and in a too nasal voice said, "With the discount, it'll be thirty-four dollars on the dot."
"Discount?" I mumbled incoherently. I got a nod in return and a flick of blonde hair in the direction of Winky the devilish Cowboy. He grinned, and I handed over my credit card. And as I signed my name on the receipt, I realized I was glad I no longer shared a bank account with the paternals. Think of the fun conversation you're missing out on. "Bella, what did you purchase at the Pleasure Chest? Do we need to have a talk? Is there something you're keeping to yourself? You don't have to...just talk to me."
Again with the hysterical giggling as I walked away from the counter. I was pretty sure I was laughing and clutching at the solid black plastic bag like I was some junkie that had just scored with my drug of choice. Oh, sex toy...you are my personal brand of heroin.
But things don’t go quite as planned on her “date” with the new toy and she is left frustrated as ever. When she decides to return the object of said frustration, she meets the green-eyed smirk of the shop owner and the UST starts immediately. The way this Edward handles this high strung Bella has me breathless with laughter and panting for more. When he tracks her down and presents her with a new toy and an offer to show her how to use it, what girl would say no?
Things are never as easy as one intends them to be and as Edward gets to know Bella and her tale of sexual woe, he no longer wants just a lust filled evening with her but to get to know this crazy, smart, funny beauty. Not to say that while they get to know each other he can resist showing her what true sexual pleasure that new toy can bring her.
"Just relax, Bella." His words ghosted over my stomach as his hands moved my own back to the bedspread.
I was so close to sitting up and asking what the fuck was wrong with him that he didn't want my pants off, when I heard something that instantly made me wet and my body tighten up.
The steady and slow whirring of the Rabbit sounded like heavy bass on an amped up radio. Deafening.
"Fuck me," I whispered to myself in anticipation, sure the epic buzzing had drowned out my words.
"Not quite yet," Edward responded. My head shot off the mattress enough to see a grinning Sex Guru with very hooded eyes staring back. I watched as he ran his fingers over the top of my thigh and noticed that under his gaze all the noise fell away.
His other hand moved while I was entranced, the long graceful digits tracing circles just below the rise of my hip bone. There was a sudden pressure right where my clit was hidden under the seam of my jeans.
Tearing my eyes away from the dancing fingertips, I saw just what he was doing. Slick bastard he was. Poking its head out, literally, from between my legs was my brand-spanking-new see through shiny purple toy.
Hey there, friend, nice to finally meet you. Great my vagina was doing introductions now.
Edward bent, and I saw his tongue poke out of his mouth at the same time that the slow whirring was back and sending vibrations through my hoo-hah.
Sweet jesus in heaven, I thought - and may have even uttered into the darkness. My eyes shut, and my head slammed back into the bed. The dual combination of his mouth on my exposed flesh just above the waistband and the slight hum just below had me fisting the comforter tightly already.
This story is nine chapters in so far and I am already in love with the characters and pop culture references. Let’s just say the scene in a Bubba Gump Shrimp restaurant left me with tears of laughter. The author has an amazing sense of humor and quite the flare for the citrus. Read, laugh, lust and enjoy!
Banner by JaimeArkin
0 comments:
Post a Comment